Meg is a bridge builder, a champion of the underdog, and the opener of multiple cans of worms. 

She self-purportedly possesses a wicked wit, but the evidence of such is sorely lacking.  Friends, associates, and local news outlets are accustomed to receiving private messages from this badge-wearing member of the grammar police regarding their subject/verb agreement, split infinitives, and questionable spelling choices.  To say she has strong feelings about the Oxford comma is a gross understatement--it's probably best to avoid that subject altogether.

Skills

If you're still interested in hiring this irreverent, potty-mouthed mess of a woman, you should know about her peculiar skill set.  She possesses a unique knack for choosing the pen with no ink--the first time, every time.  Her ability to find the slowest checkout line is the stuff of legend.  She believes her greatest talent is writing multiple layers of meaning into just a few words; she is frequently so amused with herself that she chokes a little on her own spit.  Her friends (and strangers alike) say that she has an uncanny way of taking social interactions from "zero" to "awkward" at neck-breaking speeds.

Beliefs

Megan believes that life is a tragic comedy, best lived as a musical.  She is known to sing instructions at her children rather than yell them, which is exceedingly effective in public places where her teenagers are already embarrassed by her mere existence.  She is fascinated by the absurdity found in dark times and frequently laughs at the most inappropriate moments.

She is a firm believer that folks should spend more time being and less time telling.  This particular mindset makes writing autobiographical summaries difficult for her, but she perseveres.

Likes

Authenticity. Bending words in ways that make her chortle.  Revealing unexpected beauty.  Stirring up hornets’ nests.  Sticking toes over the metaphorical line.  Ruffling feathers and then smoothing them.  Speaking in tired idioms.

Dislikes

Raisins (They ain’t natural).  Propriety.  Reality TV.  Writing about herself in the third person (That’s a damned lie.  She loves this). 

What others say about her:

“Tirelessly tolerant.” 

“Kinda cool.  Ok-in-my-book.  You’ll do for now.”

 “Genuine, compassionate, open of mind and heart, no bullshit, fiercely loyal, fearless advocate, funny as hell, Uber-Mom.” 

“Can so tactfully tell someone to f*** off that they look forward to the trip.” 

“Covertly inspirational.” 

“Fertile!” 

“Accepting. Compassionate.”

“Post-office deficient.”

“Brutally and shamelessly honest.”  

"Intermittently jackassy."

“The first person I’d call to get something from the top shelf.”

“Authentic.”

“Meticulously deliberate.  Zealously creative. Fiercely caring.”